Translating Weight of Life
Into Depth of Being

A host of dynamics can drain energy from our lives. Demands added, seeing loved ones suffer, and spiraling disappointments are just a few examples of the numerous "hits" we can take. Functioning in daily life as well as self integration can be diminished without the skills to respond to them. "Translating the weight of life Into depth of being" is one such skill for handling what can "weigh" on us. This topic was chosen as the first of the Special Topics because most all of us are burdened at some, or many, point(s) in life. (The devastations in life can be so disabling that a special place in this website is given to "Those in Despair".)

Many wise people have written about the immense personal growth that can come out of immense personal suffering. They are not just glossing over the suffering, or trying to give some "up" side to it. Many who have written about this, write from their own experiences, and try to share what helped them get through. If these suggestions could be synthesized, three points would emerge: self awareness, acceptance, and realization. Two scenarios will be used in explaining how these three can help translate weight into depth.
Some events can change us a moment. One interaction or event can stop us in our tracks. In the first scenario, you receive a phone call that an aging parent or good friend has just been diagnosed with a serious disease, and will need a lot of help to get through it. Your concern for them "weighs" on you; and, you want to help but your own existing demands leave you little energy. Feelings of guilt can weigh because you do not feel you are able to give what they need. In a second scenario, there can be such a continuity of losses that they finally build up into one huge impasse. You lose a special item, then you lose a friend or an opportunity to someone else. Then you are told you have to add duties at work that you really don't like. It seems like you life is a constant stream of un-fulfillment, rejections, and disappointments. In both this and the example of a parent or friend all of the sudden needing more of you, what first helps in the translation of this weight into depth of being is a full honest awareness of what is going on inside of you.

Self awareness is, in part, the capacity to recognize how each moment is affecting you. "Why I am so sad all of the sudden?" may bring recognition of being in a place where there was once a loved one who is now gone. Coming out of an interaction and saying to yourself "That hurt," is recognition that someone or something has inflicted pain. Self awareness would seem simple, but it is not. Have you ever found a cut or bruise and have no idea when and where it happened? Have you ever had someone close to you keep pointing out that you are "not yourself" until you finally recognize that they are right? Sometimes we must stop ourselves and say, "why am I so angry all the time?"
In our examples, right after the phone call telling you of a loved one's greatly increased need, you can either stay very still and listen to all the reactions in you, or you can put the phone call in the back of your mind and force yourself to continue what you were doing, and "deal with it later. Either will work in self awareness if you know how you best need to process what is happening to you. What does not help is to try to play down the impact of what has happened; or to try to go on with "life as usual." A key person in your life is in great need, and someone who you have always been able to turn now needs you to do more for them; but you realize, for any number of reasons, that this is really going to place a hardship on your life. Being able to get in touch with all the reasons this is weighing on you is self awareness.

In the second example, self awareness lets you say to yourself, "This is the fourth major disappointment in two months." Or, "this job -- or living situation, or person -- is getting more and more impossible." If you lack such self awareness, situations can almost bury your life before you recognize it. You don't want to be so incapacitated by situations that by the time you recognize them you are seriously diminished by their "weight" bearing down on you.

The quicker you can recognize that something or someone has just "placed a weight" on you by their change of situation, the quicker you can get to translating that weight. Some people try to block recognition rather than acknowledge the pain or weight. Knowing that you can do something with the weight can be a huge help in being open to self awareness. The first "something" you can do is somewhat tricky until you have gone through it a couple of times: Acceptance.

Acceptance often is very misunderstood. Acceptance is very proactive, not at all a "giving up." You have to fully know what you are truly dealing with before you can successfully do something with it. For instance, in the first scenario, if you accept that the loved one needs a lot more help, but you cannot accept that what your limitations are, you will be caught between doing way too much and suffering those consequences, and pulling way back, suffering the guilt of not knowing why you have withdrawn. To hold the entirety of the situation gives you the most information; and from here you can take action that translates that weight.
In the increased demands for caring for a loved one, hold the fullness of what this will take out of you emotionally, physically, and mentality, as well as any guilt you feel because you may not be able to do all you "should". Accept both what you can and cannot do. There are inner voices that will berate you, be selfish and cold, and those that warn that you will "fall apart," telling you that you can't handle this. But, these are not the voices to follow. These you respond to with: "Ah, but I can and will." Acceptance is allowing yourself to be fully aware rather than denying, escaping, or "drowning" what this situation has placed on you.

In the second example of accruing weight, you may have been so diminished by the situations that you are no longer who you once were. Here acceptance that you have lost so much of who you were is so needed. It is not that you lack something or are "less" a person. Do not judge yourself, but accept exactly where you are with the situation. Again, strength comes in with, "I need to and can get back to 'me." With this, you are naturally led to the next step, realization.

Realization has two meanings in this discussion. The first is that you learn something: "to realize something you did not know before." The second meaning is to bring forth something, "to bring into reality." With the first example, you may more fully realize how precious and fragile life is. You may realize that you have had a problem with guilt because of earlier experiences. You may realize that you love deeply. These and other realizations give you more, deeper, understanding of yourself, the people in your life, and even life itself. From this, two actions may be brought forth - one gives life; the other deadens and buries.

To choose to pull entirely away from the situation because you don't want to deal with the tension of what you can and cannot give is deadening. To sort out when and what you can give, and be honest with the loved one gives life. If the loved one is a pet or child, arranging for care when you cannot be there gives life. By choosing life you may find you are beginning to be more connected to all life around you. And in this find life far more rewarding than ever before.

With the second example, you may come to understand what people or situations just won't "work" for you. You may realize that at times life can be one unfortunate situation after another. You may realize that certain activities are negatively affecting your life so much, that other areas are beginning to crumble around you. You may realize that in not taking care of a health problem, you are becoming more depressed and withdrawing from all you did before. With such realizations, options are now available for you.

If it is just a series of unfortunate random events, then you may learn how to "push on through," with the peace of mind that you are not "messing up" but such times simply happen. If you accept that your choices have been setting you up for the failed and failing situations, you may realize that even insignificant choices can build up to failures. If you accept that addictions are crumbling your life, then you can realize that not even you are immune from the spiraling losses addictions incur. You may realize that many problems when not attended to only get worse.

You may be able to find the help and support you need, with the faith that "you" can be recovered. Again, no one can take away the beauty of who you are; only you can give it up. (Yes, that is your soul. And even if you give up on the beautiful person you are, thinking or even wanting it gone, it is there - always. Your soul goes with every moment of tortured suffering, the consequences of every bad choice or decision, and even through you rejecting it. Your soul is Love, abiding and always.) If you realize that you knew the right choices, and did not pursue them, you may determine to find the answer why, and change it.
The weight of life is always present to some degree. And, becoming "expert" in awareness, acceptance, and realization allows you the humble (I often miss the mark, but I do turn back as needed) confidence to deal with whatever happens. And, these three points are reliable in translating such weight of life into depth of being.

All wisdom points out that "Awareness" is crucial. "Wake up" is an adage some wise masters use. Fully acknowledge life situations, people, and yourself to get to "Acceptance". Sages teach that we refuse to acknowledge what we don't want (or are afraid of) to deal with, and in this is the source of our very defeat. "The Truth will set you free" is the teaching to bolster acceptance. And finally, so many of life's lessons only come from learning through experience. "Realization" of the lessons and new approaches to life enliven and invigorate. We ultimately can realize in any situation there can be a vast storehouse of knowledge to draw from and grow through. The most profound, and most often misunderstood or dismissed knowledge is that "what we love we never, ever, lose. Beyond the changing of mortality is an eternal reality that holds what we have loved -- not what we desired for gratifications -- but truly loved. And, that we will have eternally, though unseen in mortality.

Do not fear the weight of life, translate it into depth of being, and you will find a huge storehouse of "Life wealth" not gotten to any other way.

There is a link to discernment:
Much of the Journey to realization and integration of the soul requires quieting the incessant and vying voices in consciousness. (Read the sections on Discernment in the "Places of the Soul" {found in the main menu}). Losses, disappointments, personal devastations, physical conditions, and more, can bring about a host of negative and negating inner voices: "Why ..?", "Its not fair..", "How can I .?", "I should have known .", "What do I do now .?". There can be inner voices tinged with cynicism and defeatism: "So what!" "Whatever, who cares?" "Screw it!" "Life Sucks." All of these voices left unattended grow louder and increase debilitation. Each added weight increases them to the point that they can dominate our consciousness. We can begin to think that what they keep hammering is all there is in life. Burying, masking, or even denying these inner voices doesn't work. What does work is taking special time to listen and respond to these voices.

It is not much different than seeking out special time with someone who you think can really hear and respond to you. And, if there is someone like that, seek them out also. Often though, we are left alone in what is weighing us down. And, finding the wise and compassionate voices within truly helps.

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The Knowledge that Comes From Presence
And the Presence of Knowledge

When we think of knowledge, books and teachers can quickly come to mind. Libraries and schools can be immediately identified as places of knowledge acquisition. Knowledge that only comes in and through a certain “Presence” is a rather radical concept. This Presence has nothing to do with the many inner voices telling you what to do, or who wronged you, or what you should fix for our next meal.” Presence is a “still, felt, shared sense of another.” Like when sitting with a loved one next to you There are not even any “Ah Has” to it like the times that some thought emerges out of nowhere. So, it is not any wonder that knowledge not associated with some form of learning activity is difficult to grasp.

For many who had rather distressing school/learning experiences, acquiring knowledge by simply sitting very still and clearing away incessant voices might be appealing. The difficult part is believing that knowledge acquisition is happening and trying to keep the inner voices quiet for any amount of time. As you sit you may think something like: “Am I wasting time?” “Have I done enough yet?”, “I need to go to the store,” and a host of other inner chastisements can occur. There must be a faith (believing in that which cannot be tangibly known) in this form of knowledge acquisition, and there must be discipline to enter the necessary quieting of consciousness. It takes about twenty minutes of settling into the stillness for Presence to be felt. Meditative music (such as Pheo Rose music) and yoga can help this. What can help verify that this isn’t some “hair-brained scheme” is an accumulation of 5,000 years of writings from spiritual/wisdom traditions that speak to this knowledge and this entering into Presence as the only way of acquiring it.

“Why bother?” is a relevant question. Taking from the thousands of years of writings the response is: “because you do not truly see reality (or the Greater Reality) without this knowledge. Another response is: you are not fully “awake” (or fully aware) to and in life without this knowledge. People who regularly put themselves in this Presence comprehend life with far more depth and clarity. Furthermore, what is called intuition has even a deeper comprehension and a person begins drawing from a “well of wisdom.” Thus, without this knowledge from practiced times of Presence, people are considered “blind” or asleep, and can waste their lifetime. Whatever the imagery is used, what is mainly stated is that individuals miss out on the most meaningful and exquisite part of life; and in turn, by their blindness or lack of awareness they can cause great harm to all other life.

“How do I know if I am learning anything?” is another important question. The key to this is the word “Presence.” With practice of the discipline to achieve and maintain an inner quiet, there comes a sense of a warm and loving Presence. It is like when a person is on a long drive with another person who is “close to their heart”. There may be no words spoken but there is there is a felt Presence. Another affirmation is that when in other situations you see “things” you never saw before; and, “insight” is especially heightened. (It takes a minimum of 4-6 months for this to steadily occur.) So, the immediate affirmation is the sense of Presence, and the long term affirmation is the new insight in your life.

There have been cultures that have included the practice and development of these knowledge skills. What is referred to as meditation, contemplation, or just the practice of quiet, are the most known terms. Having cultural affirmation really helps, but any individual can seek this for themselves. For what may be lacking in cultural affirmation for you, you will find here both in “Wisdom Works” and in the “Places of the Soul” the place of Wisdom/mysticism a substantiation that should be provided. Also found in those in the Places of the Soul, is faith development to give a person the strength to take on sitting in stillness and not feel like a fool :), and the basic information about meditation and contemplation.

To review all presented here: there is essential knowledge that can be attained only by being very still and inwardly quiet. The experience of “Presence” helps an individual know that they have reached that place of knowledge. There are no voices or thoughts associated with this knowledge, so do not be led astray. (Discernment – one of the places in the “Places of the Soul” will help you with this.) The fruits of the Knowledge come in insights and becoming more aware of your inner and outer world. Wisdom of 5,000 years has been continually teaching the utter necessity of this knowledge, imploring humanity to turn to it. It is to us of this generation to take on realizing this knowledge and bring it to others. Humanity will never achieve wholeness and full realization of Reality without this knowledge. You are invited to a treasure….

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